just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize