Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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