My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
