There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
