I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
