happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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