Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
