He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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