i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
