she woke up with a sticky ear
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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