It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am available for nakedness
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
