she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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