White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize