Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
