im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
