Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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