Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
