He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize