No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
