I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize