She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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