I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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