I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
