ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I supernannyed him into submission
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