I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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