think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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