Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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