he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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