i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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