Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
