you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Randomize
