Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
