He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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