if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's official drugs can't kill me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
