theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
