He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I want to be your penis for a week.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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