How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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