yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
