apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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