if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
