so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
