I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
