If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Pants are for mortals
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
