I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
