Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
