It's a beautiful day for a hangover
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
