I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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