3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
return my video game
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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