A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
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I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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