That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
so let's talk penis.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
