So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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