almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
