Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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