i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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