grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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