I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
