I'm really into asian looking animals
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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