Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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