from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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