How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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