My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
