I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
